God Discusses Homosexuality with the Pope

A  Dialogue Written by Raymond Fontaine, PhD - August 2003

On August 5, the bishops of the Episcopalian Church, meeting in Minneapolis, confirmed the Reverend V. Gene Robinson as bishop of the diocese of New Hampshire. This event made the front pages worldwide because the Reverend Robinson is openly gay.

   While the Episcopalian Church was thus making news, the Catholic Church was making noise about same-sex marriages. A 12-page document, approved by the Pope, warned the world against legalizing the union of lesbians and gays. According to the Vatican, same-sex marriages are immoral and Catholic legislators should beware of approving them.

    Like a fault in the earth's crust that sends shock waves far and wide, the common phenomenon in the above events, causing tremors worldwide, is that of homosexuality. People ask, "Does it originate in the minds of certain individuals or is it generated by biological or chemical elements in nature?" That burning question smoldered in my mind for several days. Finally, it kindled a dream about God and the Pope discussing this hot issue.

   After cordially greeting the Pope, God asked him, "Between you and me, John, what do you really think of homosexuality?"

   "That's easy," replied the Pope. "To propagate the human race, nature fashions the male and female organs to complement each other: one produces sperm; the other, eggs. The natural way to unite these two is through intercourse which nature makes highly pleasurable and desirable. That's nature as you created it. Isn't that so?"

    "Before I answer that," God said, "let me ask you another question. What if some elements of nature, such as hormones or enzymes, occasionally produce sexual attraction and gratification between members of the same sex. In those cases, wouldn't the homosexual reaction also be according to nature as I created it?"

    "But, my Lord," countered the Pope, "scientists have researched nature for a genetic cause of homosexuality. They have not identified a gene difference between straight and gay people. The homosexual variation seems to be purely psychological - a matter of the mind."

    "Not so fast, John," said God. "Remember years ago when teachers considered left-handedness an aberration due to psychological causes. Now we know that the difference between left or right handedness is entirely biological. This may also be true of the difference between hetero and homo sexuality."

    "Until science proves this," the Pope said, "the Church will consider homosexuality an abnormality because the Bible says it is." 

    "Isn't the Church's stance against homosexuality similar to its position against Galileo's teaching that the earth rotates around the sun? In time, science proved beyond doubt that the earth rotates around the sun. In like fashion, sooner or later, science will demonstrate exactly how nature produces hetero and homo sexuality in humans. When it does, one of your successors will do what you did for Galileo's theory not too long ago. You apologized for your Church's serious mistake and its unwarranted punishment of Galileo."

   "I acknowledge that the laws of nature are outside the domain of my Church's teaching authority. My expertise and responsibility is to explain your supernatural revelation as documented in the Bible. In the case of homosexuality, my Lord, your condemnation of that aberration is explicit and undeniable."

   "I deny it," God said. "Take the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. The Bible says that the Lord rained on those cities sulfur and fire. He overthrew those cities and all their inhabitants. I didn't do that; nor did I tell anyone that false story. As I told you in an earlier conversation, I did not make any revelation about supernatural entities and events, persons and places. The only revelation of myself is what my handiwork in nature presupposes: my existence and intelligence."

   "If that is so," said the Pope, "what do you expect me to do? Shall I publish a bull apologizing for my Church's condemnation of homosexuality?"

     That would be dramatic and newsworthy. But it won't happen. I know you. You could start by silencing your spokesperson, Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger who recently condemned homosexuality. Do you realize that the official title of his position in the Vatican is "the Grand Inquisitor"? Drop that terrifying title dripping with the blood and tears of a thousand victims. Your Church has changed the name of his office several times: first, "the Inquisition"; then in 1592 ''the Holy Office" and now "the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith". Its title has changed as did its former torture chambers; but its purpose and goal remain the same: complete compliance with the teaching of the Church.  Please instruct the Cardinal that the goal of his office is to teach and preserve the truth about God. Tell him that It is found in the laws and structures of nature."

   The Pope nodded as though in agreement. But God shook his head in disbelief. If ever there was need for God to intervene and ensure the truth about himself, this was the time. But God did not make an exception to his policy: namely, to let creatures exploit their potential and get help from their environment. In this case, help would come, not from Cardinal Ratzinger's pretentious office but from nature that God created capable of infinite variation and evolution, including homosexuality.

   When I awoke from my dream, I felt refreshed and at peace. Later on, in the USA Today newspaper, I saw the smiling face of the Reverend Robinson. It typified the rejoicing of many thousand gay Episcopalians. Their Church no longer considers them as weird. They are simply one of a billion variations in nature as created by God. Hurrah for the gays and their supporters. 

    Later that morning, I visited the web site of the Star-Telegram. It showed a photo of Pope John Paul II beneath the headline "Vatican document opposes gay unions." Unlike the Rev. Robinson, the Pope was not smiling. He looked grim. His doleful eyes reflected the sadness of a million Catholic homosexuals and their supporters. Alas for them this Pope will never relent. He won't accept the  variation of homosexuality in nature. God can but the Pope cannot. So, if the Pope won't drop his hostile position on homosexuality, the gay people and their supporters can drop the Pope. So can anyone else. Who needs the Pope to believe in God? Nature reveals God's existence, intelligence and goodness more simply and surely than the Bible and its preachers: the bishops and the priests, even the Grand Inquisitor and the Pope. Alleluia!

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