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Bob Johnson and Joe Monroe

Bible Zombies Attack God-given Reason

Rational people do not believe in zombies. Rational people know that when a person’s body dies, it stays dead. This is all based on our innate God-given reason.


The Bible demands that people destroy their gift from The Supreme Intelligence/God of reason in order to believe the ungodly man-made nonsense which fills its pages. Everything from talking donkeys in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament (Numbers 22:28-31) to reanimated corpses/zombies in the New Testament (Matthew 27:50-53) are presented with a straight face and as being something that really happened.


The above referenced Bible story of zombies being real cries out for an objective, honest and reason-based examination.


Starting at Matthew 27:50 and reading through verse 53 we see that whoever the anonymous author of the Gospel of Matthew was, as well as the Christian leaders who voted the Bible to be the word of God and voted the Gospel of Matthew into the Bible, wanted people to believe:


"Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost. And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many."


Based on this Biblical nonsense we are to believe that when Jesus died on a cross on a Friday (the Gospels contradict each other regarding the time of the alleged crucifixion with John 19:14 claiming it was after the “sixth hour” and Mark 15:25 claiming “And it was the third hour, and they crucified him”) the graves around Jerusalem opened up and the dead bodies inside the graves came back to life. These zombies hung out in their graves from some time on Friday until Sunday morning, at which time Jesus allegedly came back to life, too, at which time the zombies in the cemeteries around Jerusalem actually went into the “holy” city of Jerusalem and “appeared unto many.”


The Deist Thomas Paine did a wonderful job of sarcastically and humorously addressing this foolish Bible story in The Age of Reason, The Complete Edition. Paine wrote:


"It is an easy thing to tell a lie, but it is difficult to support the lie after it is told. The writer of the book of Matthew should have told us who the saints were that came to life again, and went into the city, and what became of them afterward, and who it was that saw them - for he is not hardy enough to say he saw them himself; whether they came out naked, and all in natural buff, he-saints and she-saints; or whether they came full dressed, and where they got their dresses; whether they went to their former habitations, and reclaimed their wives, their husbands, and their property, and how they were received; whether they entered ejectments for the recovery of their possessions, or brought actions of crim. con. against the rival interlopers; whether they remained on earth, and followed their former occupation of preaching or working; or whether they died again, or went back to their graves alive, and buried themselves."


Though sarcastic and humorous, all of the questions Paine raised in the above are very valid questions. Of course, those men who wrote and voted for including this nonsense in the Bible knew they could tell their followers that they need to accept it on faith. Faith is a great tool of the clergy. They use it all the time to suppress God-given reason. However, faith is impotent against Deists and freethinkers who rely on their innate God-given reason. As the definition of "faith" in the Deism Glossary points out, Deists prefer to use trust instead of faith.


The Bible-believing Christian Hollywood star, director and producer, Mel Gibson, is currently working on a new film, a sequel to his block-buster hit film The Passion of the Christ, which covered the alleged crucifixion of Jesus. The new film will cover the alleged resurrection/reanimation of Jesus’ body. If Gibson is honest, he will also include the zombie story from Matthew in his new film. If he does include the Easter zombies, it will cause most people who see the new film to profoundly question the truthfulness of Christianity and the Bible.


Although the Bible zombie story has much unintended humor in it, it is dangerous to accept nonsense. The Deist Voltaire pointed this out when he wrote:


Truly, whoever is able to make you absurd is able to make you unjust. If the God-given understanding of your mind does not resist a demand to believe what is impossible, then you will not resist a demand to do wrong to that God-given sense of justice in your heart. As soon as one faculty of your soul has been dominated, other faculties will follow as well. And from this derives all those crimes of religion which have overrun the world.

It’s important for Deists to take action for our innate God-given reason and Deism. The foolish Bible story of the zombies gives us a golden opportunity to help people see that God gave us reason and not religion. You can bring this ungodly and nonsensical story up in conversation, you can print and distribute our Bible-zombie Deism leaflet and/or you can link to this page whenever the opportunity arises. And feel free to use the below Deism cartoon whenever possible.




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Sam Turtle
Apr 14, 2022

In today's world, probably the most tragic example of literal interpretation of the Bible is the fact that many Jews believe the passages in the Old Testament that declare God gave to Jews the "promised land," even though there were other people living there at the time:


Genesis 12:1 The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.


12:6, Abram traveled through the land as far as the site of the great tree of Moreh at Shechem. At that time the Canaanites were in the land. 12:7 The Lord appeared to Abram and said, “To your offspring[c] I will give this land.” So he built …


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CJ Emmer
Sep 20
Replying to

So, is this site actually thinly veiled ANTI SEMITISM? Hey, little Sammy, CHRISTIANS ALSO CLAIM WHAT CHRISTIANS ONLY CALL THE "Old Testament.."

since you appear to have no knowledge of history, Christian or otherwise, Christians kinda fucked up that whole ownership of Jerusalem with the Crusades - look it up and Muslims, which actually turns out to be a step family relationship with the Jews, and they also lay claim to the Holy Land. But, genius, no one OWNS it. The fact that you imagine that Israel is a theocracy is become what is written in the first half of the Bible, mKes you sound more stupid than the Egyptian soldiers. BEFORE Israel became a Sovereign State, it was part…

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Mike Henderson
Sep 19, 2021

"Of course, those men who wrote and voted for including this nonsense in the Bible knew they could tell their followers that they need to accept it on faith."


Way for them to pull a fast one.

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Mike Henderson
Sep 05, 2021

I actually find the idea of the resurrection of Jesus to be not absurd, though I do not now believe it to be true. Jesus was supposed to be a special, unique case in which God acted in a unique way and for a unique purpose. I used to be a Christian but found myself unhappy with Christianity (see my write-up under Why Deism), so I no longer believe about the resurrection, along with some other things.


However the story of the MANY bodies of "saints" coming out of their graves, and supposedly "appearing unto many", IS completely absurd. Has this been documented other than in the Bible story?? And as Thomas Paine asked, WHO WERE these "many saints"???

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