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From Christianity to Agnosticism to Deism Back to Christianity and Finally Back to Deism

Unlike other people, I actually came to Deism twice.

My name is Christian Cruz and I was raised a Roman Catholic. I attended Sunday school, I was baptized as a baby in the Dominican Republic which is where my family is from. I was born and raised in New York. I also attended Sunday school after that and had my first communion and my confirmation.

My family wasn't really religious as in we didn't go to church every Sunday or really talk about religion. As you get older you start to realize that the reason you believe in a certain religion is because of your family pushing it on you as a kid.

Entering my teenage years, I started to question my faith. I questioned it so much so that I became an agnostic theist. I didn't want to become an atheist because it was hard for me to believe that the world and universe happened by accident. There was too much complexity that I saw in it, that I didn't want to believe that all this happened by coincidence. I still believed in something, I just didn't know what it was.

One day I remembered the term "Deism", I just never looked into it. I have a curious mind so I looked into it and I stumbled upon the Deism website and I said finally something that made sense, so I became a Deist. But this is not the end of the story.

One day I stumbled upon what I would like to call Christian propaganda and I went from video to video on this stuff. Next thing I know I was once again a Christian. I renounced my Deism. That's how strong the propaganda could be, at least for me. This time it was different as I was feeling something that I hadn't before, and that was fear. It was a strong fear about the wrath of god and fear of hell if I didn't believe, fear kept me in check. It was like I was hypnotized. But one day my doubts came back and fear got the best of me and I looked up something that made sense to me in the first place - Deism. I snapped out of it, my doubts and fears left me and things made sense again. No longer do I have to live my life with dogma - I am free! I am a Deist and I am here to stay.

I realize also that most people don't become atheist because they don't believe in anything, they just stop believing in religion. But Deism is the greatest alternative to religion. You can believe in whatever you want and do whatever you want (that is not harmful to others) - that's freedom.

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